Shouldn't have done that

This is going to sound like a cliché post. It's something that a lot of people with broken hearts go through, but I know it helps to both write emotions down and offer something others can possibly relate to if they just so happen to come across this post.

I realize after the fact that I'm at a low point and I should have known better than to try and test my resolve. Browsing through my old hard drive, I came across the wedding photos folder. I've been doing pretty good with keeping myself indifferent to the memories of my old life, but now was not a good time to peruse through the folder.

For the longest time, I've been immune to thoughts of my past with my ex. I've even juggled with the idea that I'm probably in the asexual spectrum.
That part of my life as something to check off the bucket list. It was great while it lasted, lots of great memories intermingled with the awful ones. It's not a big deal... until it is.

So much is going on in my life right now. I'm trying to build my small business. I'm hoping to be able to get a Tiny house ready for when I move to a bird sanctuary, and it feels like everyone wants me to do things for free and I just can't anymore.

Seeing his face, the good and bad emotions come over me simultaneously and causes this sour sort of heartbreak. Tears happened, no bawling, just sorrow. Remembering the way he looked at me, the goofy times we had, but then I have to remind myself how he did nothing at all to keep me, to work with me. If I was really worth that much to him, he would have gone to couples counseling, given up his habit, and have been less of a slob, it could have worked out.

I do believe everything happens for a reason, I also believe that, "Love never fails. If it failed, it wasn't love."